We all have been there. We go out of our way to help the person we care about by offering up more of ourselves then we are getting in return. We put that person into a category of what their potential could be rather than the reality of who they are settling to be or possibly how they are just built. We need to stop falling in love with someone’s potential and admit to ourselves that they may never be who we need them to be — and learn to accept that and move on!

This leads me to helping you identify and acknowledge you may be “paying” to be in a relationship and then break that pattern. What do I mean by “paying” to be in a relationship? “Paying” to be in a relationship can come at a cost of your self worth, self esteem, increased insecurities, believing you are underserving of anything good and most of all the lack of self-love and making yourself a priority.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM PAYING TO BE IN MY RELATIONSHIP?

1. Do you stay in a relationship with someone knowing they are not meeting you where you need them to be but you stay hoping they will change and love you the way you deserve to be?

2. Do you always sacrifice and put off what your needs and goals are and try to help your partner become successful?

3. Do you make excuses for your partner’s lack of empathy toward your wants and needs?

4. Do you make excuses to your family and friends for your partner’s toxic behavior?

5. Do you stay in a relationship knowing it could be better but would rather be lonely in a relationship than be alone on your own?

If you answered yes to any of these questions than you maybe “paying” to be in that relationship. And is it worth it?

Let me clarify that sometimes your partner may need help from time to time and you might have to help them out. But that is not okay if it is always the case with you being the giver and your partner would not do the same for you. They may throw you a crumb here and there to keep you so you do not leave them. That’s a manipulation tactic they are using to show you that they do care about you so you keep helping them. They know what they are doing. Maybe some have been conditioned that way by past experiences and that is the only perception they have of what love is. Let me remind you that a real loving healthy relationship is where each partner is getting an equal energy exchange.

The first step to break this pattern is to acknowledge you are doing this - sacrificing your self worth to be in a relationship that does not serve your highest good. Then you should be asking yourself why you are allowing this? The answers and discovery of patterns that come to you need to be addressed and start taking the steps and actions necessary so you no longer settle for less than you deserve. It will not be an overnight process. You probably are breaking a conditioned belief or pattern yourself led by your ego. You need to start healing those wounds and beliefs and start trusting from the heart space. Make the shift from fear based thinking to love based. Trust that you are being shown this in order to grow and become a better you and attract a better partner!