What does Co-Dependency Mean?

Co-dependency generally means there is an imbalance in the relationship. One is relying on the other person for happiness and approval. Co-dependency can exist in a variety of different type of partnerships such as parents, siblings, co-workers, friends and our significant other. But with regards to being in a co-dependent relationship one tends to be so wrapped up in the other person they end up losing themselves. There is nothing wrong with wanting to care for your partner but the key is finding the balance of meeting your partners needs while advocating for your own needs.

What does Co-Dependency Mean in a Relationship?

When it comes to defining what co-dependency means in a relationship - it is not too hard to do. It basically means that someone in the relationship is often ignoring their own needs and wants and catering to their partners desires. By doing this, you are not honoring your own feelings and needs. You are essentially sacrificing yourself by allowing your partners toxic habits. This often results in the giver feeling feeling resentful, empty, sad and unfulfilled.

How do Co-Dependent Relationships Happen?

Usually co-dependent relationships manifest overtime because one partner’s projection of past dysfunctional relationships they have had usually stemming from a family member. The partner then will seek to control the other person in the relationship through manipulation in the form of gaslighting and guilt.

How to Identify if You’re in a Co-Dependent Relationship?

Here are a few signs that might indicate you are in a co-dependent relationship. This is not an inclusive list.

• You are taking too much responsibility for their care or always cleaning up their messes or issues they get involved in.

• You tend to gravitate toward people who need you. You want to rescue them.

• You are always telling them how to do something or what not to do because you know they will mess it up.

• You talk about your partner’s issues with friends more than your own.

• You do things for them they should do on their own.

• You find yourself making excuses for their dysfunctional behavior.

Ways to Break-Free from Co-Dependent Patterns

• Prioritize self-care! Self-care is not SELFISH! Its’s a necessity!

• Journal your feelings and honor them!

• Start doing all the activities that you love to do before you met your partner!

• Do things that make you feel good about yourself!

• If you need guidance, reach out to a coach or therapist who can help you work through this process!